Funny Jokes on Politics

केजरीवाल की पत्नी खाना लगाती है ,, पत्नी – ये लो , खाना खा लो , केजरीवाल – ये क्या है ? पत्नी – दाल चावल … केजरीवाल – मैं नहीं खाऊंगा , दोनों मिले हुए हैं , और ज्यादा बोली तो धरना दे दूंगा चावल के खिलाफ

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Modi ka Suit kharidne wala apne aap ko thaga mehsoos kar raha hai,
Kyunki Kejriwal ne kaha tha,
Iske ek pocket mein Adani hai, ek mein Ambani.. par use koi mila nahin!

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Pehna Suit hazaar ka,
Bataya lakh ka,
Aur becha Crore mein,
Wah re Gujrati, Wah!

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Khabar hai Nawaz Sharif bhi suit silwane gaye the,
Parantu darji ne “Sharif” likhne se mana kar diya!!

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Ek baar KEJRIWAL ke upar UP me road Show ke waqt bijli ka taar gir gaya.
KEJRIWAL: bachao bachao mujhe current lag gaya, yeh sab Modi ne kiya hai!
AKHILESH YADAV: Zyada nautanki mat kar. Yeh Gujrat nahi UP hai, yaha bijli nahi aati!!!

Funny Joke of the day

Ek Ladki ne hoto par “India” ke tirange ka
rang laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA”

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Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge

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Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

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Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.

Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!

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On first night after marriage

Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.

Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.

Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…

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Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.

Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!

Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena

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Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!

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Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

Sardar ji ka Marriage Bureau

Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai: "Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."
Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..!
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Bhongasing ek ped per chadh Gaye.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaye?
Bhongasing: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Bhongasing: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hun.
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Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
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Raja Pervaiz Ashraf: Yaar mujhey Mother's Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!!
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Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.
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Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun".
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Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho...
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Dad:result ka kya hua
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
Son : mai pass ho gya.
Dad : great, aur bad news.
Son:good news galat hai.
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Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
'doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?'
Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to Yamraj hun!!!!
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husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka Natija!!
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Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?

Funny Jokes

Who are lizards?

Awesome answer
by a kid....

They are
those poor crocodiles who forgot to have
Horlicks when they were young.

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Heard that 15000 CCTV cameras are being
installed in Delhi for Obama's visit.

This is ridiculous.

Just because he's U.S President doesn't
mean he'll steal anything...

Sardarji Part - 2

Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
"Mun mai pani ana"
.
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia



Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela
Note ke oper lekha tha "EID MUBARAK"
.
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha,
owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola
"KHAIR MUBARAK"

Sardarjis Are Back Again

Java interview attended by Sardarji

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 tier architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and auto rickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than ten objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish, I do not have any objections.


Give my free gift

Sardar starts shouting in a store......
Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this
Sardar: It is written CHOLESTEROL FREE.


Why?

Banta and his son went fishing one day. After a couple of hours the son started getting bored, so he started thinking about the world around him. Out of his curiosity, he started asking his father a few questions.

“How does this boat float?”

Banta thought for a moment, then replied, “Don't rightly know, so

Sardar ji Kaddi Has bhi liya karo

Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"

Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!

"Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long" replied Banta with joy.

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sardar's bearing level


ek baar 1 sardar khana kha raha tha.....
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ab kya sardar khana bhi nahin kha sakta!!!!!!!
jaan lelo uski saalon.

Latest Top Sardar Jokes 2016

Santa and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend says to santa:"I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus."

Santa answers: "I do not believe that."

They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of wine after the film. It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema.

Then the friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I saw the film for the second time."

Then Santa replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not think that this fool rides into the cactus again."

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Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song.After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.

Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?

Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.

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Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."

Banta Singh: "Does it work?"

Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath."

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A Surd prime minister visited the president of the neighbouring country and complained about all this jokes about surds that others tell each other. "This leads to the impression that all surds are stupid", he said. "You should not take this so earnestly",answered the neighbouring minister, "These are only jokes and not true stories. And there are also stupid people in our country. I will prove it to you."

Saying so, he went to his driver and said: "Please drive to my home and find out, whether I am at home." The driver immediately went on his way.

The surd prime minister was satisfied: "He is very stupid indeed. There is a public phone just at the corner. It would have been easier to call and check!"

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Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"

Man Replies 12.30.

"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"

Man Replies 11.30.

"When will Punjab Express go from here?"

Man Replies 10.30.

Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains.

Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"


★★★★★

I was confused when I read one of the girl's facebook status as,

"Bang Bang tomorrow night"... Feeling Excited! - With Rahul and 12 others...

I was more confused when her next status was ..haider was better..

Latest Jokes

The most dangerous till date: Banta: How the word 'Wife' was invented? Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of 'Wildlife'!

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Calling 'Ex' girlfriend At Midnight And Singing...
.
.
.
.
.
.

You Can Call Me Ex,

You Can Call Me Ex,

Mr Ex

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Why Hindu Law doesn't permit second marriage?

Answer:- Indian Constitution article 20(2) says: "No human can be punished twice for the same offence....

Funny Joke on Lalu Prasad Yadav

Lawyer to Lalu: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "

Funny Lalu : "Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"

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Laloo: Beta ye kaisi machis laaye ho. Sasura ek bhi teeli nahi jal rahi.

Funny Son: Kya baat kartay ho papa sab ki sab check kar kay laya hoon.

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Barkha Dutt: Laloo Ji, hamare desh mein divorce ke cases badte hi ja rahe hain. Aapko kya sochte ho, iska main karan kya hai.

Funny Laloo: Shaadi.enge.”

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Funny Laloo ji 18 guards ko le kar film dekhne jate hain. Pucho to kiyun?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

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Watch aur Wife me kya farak hota hai?

Funny Laloo: Watch bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai. Wifei bigadati hai to shuru ho jati hai.

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Ik bar Laloo ji sykil chala rahe the, ke achanak sykil Ik girl se takra gayi

Girl shouted: Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!

Funny Laloo: Behanji, poori sykil to maar di, ab ghanti alag se maroon ?

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Laloo Prasad Yadav sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference:


“Bhaiyo aur unki Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amreeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.”

Everyone was delighted. Laloo Prasad continued: “Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa Appointment Letter padkar sunaunga? Par letter angreeze main hai - Isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad >> Pyare Laloo Prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet >> Aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement >> Humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any further correspondence >> Ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kono zaroorat nahee.

No phone call >> Phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained >> Bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks >> Aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Bill Gates. >> Tohar Bilva

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Mayawati apne friend Lalu ke ghar GOAT le ke jati hai..

Lalu: E Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho ?

Mayawati: Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai

Funny Lalu: Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

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Train me laloo ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche Mayavati baithi thi.

Mayawati: Lalooji, apna samman kahi or rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega.

Funny Lalu: Koi baat nahi behanji, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.

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Lalu Prasad Yadav ka funny beta 1000 Watt ke bulb par Lalu Yadav ka naam likh raha tha.

Lalu Yadav: Bitwa, e ka kart ho?

Funny Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.


Lalu : Ek Vidhwan Ne Kaha Ke Murakh Aadmi Ki Biwi Bahu Sunder Hoti Hai.
Rabdi : Ab Rehne Bhi Dijiye Aap Ke Paas To Hamaar Tarif Ke Alawa Kono Kaam Hi Nahi Hai.

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Lalu Goes 2A Shop & Asks:
A Bandarva Ka Photu Kitne Ka He Re?
Shopkepper: Woh Phutwa Nahin Sahib
Wo To Seesa (Mirror) He!

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Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai, to sare eggs tumare, agar batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hain to vo murgi bhi tumari.

Rabri: Lalu Ji, Koi hint do na?

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Rabri: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Funny Laloo: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

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Laloo dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Funny Laloo: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Funny Laloo: Maine Patna phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

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Mayavati: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Mayavati ka Funny beta: Haan mami, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Joke Circus Description

JokesCircus Homepage - Find lots of of latest funny Jokes on SantaBanta, Pappu, Pathan, JeetoPreeto, Bar, Politicians, Medical, Blondes, Doctor and Lawyers.

Leatest one…पति-पत्नी की चिंता!

पति-पत्नी रात में बिस्तर पर खामोशी से लेटे हुए।

आपस में कोई बात नहीं…

पत्नी के मन की चिंताएं…

1. ये मुझसे बात क्यों नहीं कर रहे?

2. क्या अब मैं पहले जैसी खूबसूरत नहीं रही ?

3. कहीं मेरा वजन तो नही बढ़ गया ?

4. कहीं मेरे चेहरे की झुर्रियों पर इनका ध्यान ना गया हो?

5. कहीं इनके जीवन में कोई और तो नहीं आ गई ?

पति के मन की चिंता….

1. Katappa ne bahubali ko kyo mara 

Santa Banta Tanta Banta

संता ने नेट बैंकिंग का पासवर्ड रखा –
“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”
बंता – पाजी इतना लम्बा पासवर्ड क्यों ?
संता -क्यूंकि , Bank वाले कहते हैं कि पासवर्ड में 5 character और 1 capital होना जरुरी है ,
बंता – पर पाजी ये केजरीवाल क्यों ??
संता – ओये एक स्पेशल character भी जरुरी है

Funny Jokes on Politics